“Mama, we see my mom today?” he asked as he climbed the stairs to my waiting vehicle.
Making efforts to keep my voice cheerful, though inwardly I was cringing, I answered, “No, honey. Not today. Two more days.”
My heart fell even as his face did.
You see? He misses you. Even at his tender age of just a few years, he knows that it’s not supposed to be this way.
God didn’t mean for it to be this way for him, you know?
I suspect you do.
I’m pretty sure it’s something you tell yourself often.
But here’s something you might not hear. Something you probably neglect telling yourself, and something I must be certain not to neglect telling you:
God didn’t mean for it to be this way for you, either.
God meant for your hug to be the one that welcomes him after school.
God meant for your loving hands to be the ones that wipe his tears and soothe his boo-boos and guide his chubby pencil-gripping fingers as he forms his first letters.
God meant for your voice to pray over him at bedtime and for your lips to graze his forehead as you whisper, “Good night. I love you.”
God meant for your face to be the one that greets him on Mothers’ Day morning and his birthday morning and Christmas morning…and every morning in between.
But the thing is, reality on this sin-infested planet often falls short of God’s intentions, doesn’t it?
And we pay the price.
You might not understand my statement that “we pay the price.” Your price is certainly high. How your heart must ache for what you’re missing!
For who you’re missing.
But I want you to know that my heart aches, too. My heart aches for you, even as I’m enjoying what you’re missing.
And when they return home to you – which is what we’re all working toward – my heart will be the one that aches with missing them.
Yes, the price for sin is high and the consequences steep.
But guess what? All the beauty and goodness and rightness of God’s intentions are within your reach.
Not because you’ve finished your parenting classes or found a new place to live, though those are both good things.
And not even because you started coming to church, though that’s a good thing, too.
God’s intentions for you are within your reach just because He said so.
“…that they should seek God,
and perhaps feel their way toward Him and find Him.
Yet He is actually not far from each one of us.”
And His intentions for you are within your reach because He paid a high price to secure the relationship with you that sin destroyed.
“But God demonstrates His own love toward us
in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
That’s how much you matter to Him.
How much your son matters, and your family.
How do I know that God is within your reach?
Because you’re never outside of His.
“Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.”
His foster mom