Real, Not True

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A refreshingly honest post from the Christian perspective describing the author's experience with overcoming feelings of failure. (Psalm 61:2) http://adivineencounter.com/monday-minute-real-not-true

I’m not prone to depression.

But today, I think I’m getting a small taste of it.

The sorrow has been so thick, I can almost reach out and touch it. Like an unwelcome blanket…smothering me.

I feel like a failure.

A failure as a wife.

A failure as a mom.

A failure as a foster mom.

A failure as a friend.

A failure as a homemaker.

A failure as a homeschooler.

A failure as a writer.

I feel like I’m making a mess of one thing after another. And I feel like the messes can’t be cleaned up.

I feel overwhelmed by life.

By too many demands.

And not enough supplies.

By too many needs.

And not enough resources.

By too many voices.

And not enough stillness.

And maybe worst of all, I feel like things will never be right again.

I realize hormones are more than likely to blame for these feelings.

But hormones or not, the feelings are real. Although I can’t see them, taste them, or touch them…I’m experiencing them just the same. I can’t even define them or quantify them…but that doesn’t make them less real.

From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee,

when my heart is overwhelmed:

lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

Psalm 61:2

So what do I do when my feelings threaten to sweep me away in the power of their deluge?

I’m choosing to remember today that although my feelings are very real,

that doesn’t mean they’re true.

Those feelings that defy the truth of God’s Word

or question my identity in Christ…

or doubt my God’s complete enough-ness for me

must be recognized as the imposters they are:

LIES.

And by His grace, I will choose to refocus my gaze on my God…even though I don’t feel like it.

I will cry out to Him with desperate prayers in a voice so broken only He can understand.

I will reach out to a friend who can offer prayers for me.

I will spend some extra time letting my heart devour the truth found on the pages of God’s Word.

And then I’ll probably crank up the music. Music that is God-centered and full of truth. Music that will compel me to sing along with a cracking voice and wet cheeks until the tears finally dry up and the smile is back on my face.

On a day like today, what a relief it is to let the full weight of my feelings fall upon a God who understands them…

who invites them…

who sees and who cares…

who notices each tear before wiping them from my eyes…

who lifts my head with His gentle hand under my chin, and whose compassionate eyes beckon my gaze to rise to His.

Rarely does order come immediately to my upside-down feelings.

But it does come.

The sun doesn’t shine brighter yet.

But it will soon.

Feelings are fleeting.

Which makes all the more beautiful the Solid Rock that is higher than I.

A refreshingly honest post from the Christian perspective describing the author's experience with overcoming feelings of failure. (Psalm 61:2) http://adivineencounter.com/monday-minute-real-not-true

Written by Jennifer Clarke

 

 

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10 Replies to “Real, Not True”

  1. Terrie

    Thank you for sharing these thoughts today Jen. I can surely identify ….some days are so like as you described and for all the reasons you described and I might add for just being physically and emotionally TIRED! I appreciate you, my friend, and you have excellent suggestions to help with these discouraging and despairing times….gratefulness, God’s Word, and good music!

    Reply
    • Jennifer Clarke Post author

      You’re so right, Terrie! Exhaustion is often a key factor in my own emotional struggles. I’ve also been suspecting for myself that proper nourishment and hydration (or the lack thereof!) may even contribute. Good stewardship of our physical health is part of God’s plan for His children — for our own spiritual good! Thank you for taking the time to share. 🙂

      Reply
  2. Renee

    That pretty much sums it all up for me. I feel like a failure, overwhelmed and like things will never be right again. My husband has ALS and I am his 24 hour caregiver. It is so difficult to see his strength and his ability to move slowly fade away. He is almost totally dependent; he cannot do the basic things we take for granted. I am weary and overwhelmed by tears, doubt and fears. Thank you for the reminder that our God does see every tear and understands my burdens. I need to re-focus on the Rock, and get out from under those lies. Waiting for that bright sunshine to come someday………….thanks Jennifer!

    Reply
    • Jennifer Clarke Post author

      Oh, Renee, my heart aches for you and the very hard time you’re experiencing. What a precious sacrificial gift you’re giving to your husband, and to your Lord! I just prayed that God would continue to strengthen you and help you and hold you in His hand (Isaiah 41:10). I’ve also asked Him to give you a particularly strong sense of His presence with you and in you, reminding you with His Spirit that He always equips us to do what He calls us to do. God doesn’t cause every trial — but He will always, always use them! I’m praying that as you serve your husband faithfully and look to God for His provision, you will shine like a bright beacon of light pointing many others to our God. Thank you for reading, and for taking the time to share your heart!

      Reply
  3. Pam Schneider

    I have just recently joined /signed on to your website. I have enjoyed the devotions you have written. Your perceptions are scripturally sound and too the point. Also, the practical application to the subject at hand are much appreciated.
    Thank you and my prayers are with you,

    Reply
    • Jennifer Clarke Post author

      Pam, it’s a true joy to hear from one of my subscribers! Thank you for reading and for getting in touch. It’s a great privilege to share what God is teaching me, and I long to point others toward greater intimacy with Him. As one of my regular readers, I ask that you hold me accountable to handle the Scriptures with care and accuracy. Blessings to you as you walk with our Savior!

      Reply
  4. Susie Etheridge

    So appreciate you sharing your heart, I can truly relate, and so understand , because I have been there too at times… and appreciate the truth of God’s word and His heart about us… simply believing in ”This is what the Lord says” about a matter. I’m so glad I can pour out my heart before Him, , crawl up on His lap of Love like a child and talk it over with Him…. talk anything and everything over with Him,and when my words are just tears I can cry them unreservedly…I’m so thankful…I so appreciate it when He will sing right into my ears and just the ministering melody my heart needs, he sees just what I need… What a Mighty God, What a Loving Savior,be so encouraged in His loving presence, and embraced in his arms…

    Reply
    • Jennifer Clarke Post author

      Yes! I love your phrase: “This is what the Lord says.” One of my good friends says, “You have to know what you know.” And it all comes back to Him, doesn’t it? He is indeed the way, the truth, and the life. Thank you for your vivid description of our identity first and foremost as His child. What a gift of grace that relationship is!

      Reply

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