I wish I could tell you that my shoulders slumped as I looked at the list that didn’t contain my name.
If they did, it was only for a split second before they stiffened, my chin rising a couple of inches as I looked down my nose at the names of those who were picked.
I started to think about how much better I was than them. Better suited for the opportunity. More deserving.
My thoughts then progressed to the people responsible for choosing, wondering whether they had something personal against me that would prevent them from picking me. I started questioning their judgment. Even resenting them.
All of this transpired in a matter of seconds. Thankfully, I wasn’t pondering these things long before God’s gracious Spirit initiated a divine encounter, convicting me almost immediately of my pride, my entitlement, and my selfishness. I stopped heeding the self-indulgent impulses beckoning my focus and turned my gaze back to my Savior —
the only One who is deserving of anything other than a cross…and the very One who died there in my place.
The One who didn’t cling to His equality with God, but instead made Himself nothing, taking on the form of a servant (Philippians 2:6-7).
We say we want a servant’s heart, don’t we?
What if we started with how we respond when someone treats us like one? When we’re taken for granted? When we’re overlooked? Not chosen?
I long for the day when the humble response is my instinctive response, and not my trained one. Until then, I’m thankful for God’s grace which provides truth in His Word, and which reminds me to walk in it when I’m tempted to stray.
Lord, please conform me to the image of Your Son, replacing my heart of cold selfishness with one of warm humility. Make me a servant — in word, in deed, in thought, and in the deepest recesses of my heart.