Do you wonder how to stop wanting what you don’t have?
Over the past several weeks, the pastors of my church have been preaching through the Ten Commandments one by one.
The Word of God is living and powerful, and even those parts that I’ve been able to quote since my childhood still have lessons for me today.
You’re probably familiar with the tenth commandment:
“You shall not covet.” (Exodus 20:17)
And then God goes on to list several items that the people aren’t supposed to covet: “your neighbor’s house…your neighbor’s wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s.”
Basically, you shall not covet your neighbor’s anything.
I don’t know about you, but this is a commandment that always brings conviction.
I’ve struggled with covetousness in different ways during different periods of time. I’ve at times found myself coveting this person’s relationships or that one’s circumstances. Her home or his talents. This friend’s social personality and that one’s fitness level (though perhaps not her hours spent exercising). And it seems like no matter what season of life I’m in, I fight the temptation to covet people who are in other seasons.
Is there hope to be found for you and me to overcome coveting once and for all?
How to Stop Wanting What You Don’t Have
The word “covet” has a pretty negative connotation to us, likely because of this very portion of Scripture. Many of us would say that to covet means to want something we can’t have, or to want something that belongs to someone else.
But the root of the Hebrew word translated “covet” (chamad) in Exodus 20:17 really just means to want something. To desire it. Even to delight in it, or to take pleasure in it.
In his sermon on the tenth commandment, one of our pastors pointed out that this word actually has positive uses in Scripture, not just negative ones.
Well, that whetted my appetite to learn more about this word covet. And it turns out that some of those positive uses of the word chamad–those things God tells us that we should covet–actually hold a powerful secret:
We stop coveting what we don’t have by training our desires toward better things.
No, not just better things. The best things. The very best things. The things we were made for, and the only things that can bring true fulfillment and stop sinful coveting dead in its tracks.
What We Should Covet
1.)God’s presence
“As an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men. With great delight (chamad) I sat in his shadow, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.” Song of Solomon 2:3
This verse is a statement from a young woman about her beloved, but Song of Solomon is understood to be an allegory for Christ and the Church. So we can understand this statement to be one of adoration for Christ, and one of delight in His shadow, basking in His presence. We are to find great delight in, to covet, God’s presence.
2.)God’s Word
“More to be desired (chamad) are they than gold, even much fine gold; sweeter also than honey and drippings of the honeycomb.” Psalm 19:10
“More to be desired” (coveted) are they. What is “they” referring to? Verses 7-9 tell us that it’s God’s Word. We are to desire, to covet, God’s Word.
3.)God’s provision
“And out of the ground the LORD God made to spring up every tree that is pleasant (chamad) to the sight and good for food.” Genesis 2:9a
God placed man and woman in the garden of Eden, in a protected area of delight, and there He provided for them completely. Had they taken their fill of pleasure with God’s provision, the lure of the forbidden tree would’ve been powerless. We are to find pleasant, to covet, God’s provision.
The Secret
How can you and I stop wanting want we don’t have?
By cultivating a desire for what God wants us to covet instead: His Word, His provision, and Himself.
Have you been caught up in the sin of coveting? Does this lesson ring true for you? If you can relate to the struggle and would like some prayer support in applying this new truth, leave a comment to let me know so I can lift you to our Father in prayer. I welcome your prayers for me, as well.
I sometimes struggle with the sin of covetousness. May you lift me up in prayer.
I certainly will, Sarah! Thank you for sharing so transparently.
Thank you for this passage. It really helped explain some questions I had. In the search for purpose and meaning in life, I guess what I’m doing is covet. I’m blessed beyond measure and I’m so grateful for my life and my family. We are in health but sometimes I get so incredibly anxious and also depressed that I’ll never experience lifes abundance. I’m afraid I won’t live before I die. I dont want to appear ungrateful but if I’m honest I have to say I’m not happy with just existing with my current options. Please agree with me in prayer that God change me or my circumstances; whatever may be in his will.
Hi, Missy, and thanks so much for sharing your perspective. I think you hit the nail on the head when you talk about wanting to experience life’s abundance. Jesus actually stated that the reason why He came to earth is so that we might have life, specifically more abundant life. The problem is that it’s easy for us to get the wrong idea of what truly abundant life is. There are scores of Christians living in poverty around the world who experience pure joy simply because they have Jesus, and He is enough. They would say they have abundant life, because they understand that the abundant life Jesus came to give us is spiritual life. As Paul said in Ephesians 1:3, we have been granted every spiritual blessing–God’s presence, His love, His peace, and His provision, just to name a few of them. I will pray for you, even as I pray for myself, that we would find abundance of joy in God’s presence, His provision, and His Word.
Thank you for this insight. Quite an eye opening and awe inspiring truth. Please pray for me as I pray for you thatvhis word becomes our desire. Amen
Hi, Sandi! I’m so glad this resonated with you. I’m happy to pray for you, and I appreciate your prayers for me, as well.
This hits right at home for me as I’m walking through a very difficult season. Such a really good and powerful message, thank you for sharing!❤
I’m so glad to hear that, Telena! Thank you for letting me know how this ministered to you.
This definitely hits home in the area of relationships at this point in my life. Thank you for sharing. Please pray for me, as I will for you, that we may find God’s presence more easily than wanting what we don’t have.
Thanks for sharing how this resonates with you, Melodie. I’m honored to pray for you, and I so much appreciate your prayers for me, as well.
Wow I can relate to this in many areas of my life. I think some of this can be rooted in insecurity about ourselves. I tend to compare my marriage, my child’s abilities, my own abilities at work, and our home to those around me and while I know its unhealthy, its being disobedient to God. I pray that God will help all of us to crave God’s presence, His precious word, and with whatever he has gifted us. Thank you for sharing.
Hi, Shari, and thank you for sharing transparently here. I think you’re right when you point out that this can be rooted in insecurity. Because we’re disconnected from the One in whom our identity is eternally secure, we flounder in uncertainty about who we are and what we offer to the world. Only by abiding in Him can we find true fulfillment and a healthy sense of self-esteem based on our identity in Christ.
I need prayer. I get inspired and negative and rush out of Gods will. I want it to be beautiful inspiration motivation fuel for my drive but it hurts my relationship with God. And i can be ungrateful. I want to be filled with thanksgiving!
Hi, April! I will pray for you about these things, that God would purify the motives and intents of your heart, and that He would teach you to be content and thankful. Thank you for reading, and for sharing your heart here!
Thank you so much for this post Jennifer!! I just read your post about finding the blessings in trials and I especially thanked your honesty about having lived a blessed life and how God changed your heart through those trials. I enjoyed this post because it helped me to see that I need to change my perspective; for a very long time I have coveted certain things because I have had to live through so much loss and pain. This year has been difficult, though *thankfully* not as hard to bear as those from many years ago. It is truly “a divine encounter” that I came across your blog because I have been asking, seeking, and knocking for God to answer my heartfelt prayers for many months and this blog is just one of the ways HE finally did!! Thank you so much for your transparency and humility in your words. God is truly using you for a good purpose!
Oh, Melissa, my heart rejoices in what you’ve shared. Thank you for letting me know how you’ve been blessed here, and most of all, for sharing about our faithful God’s work in your life in answering some very specific cries of your heart. I will pray for you, asking God to continue the work that only He can accomplish, and that He would help you to persevere on the path of knowing Him, loving Him, and serving Him with all your heart and all your soul.