I enjoy writing. There’s a certain pleasure in carefully selecting the words that will best express my thoughts…my emotions…my very heart and soul.
It’s an art form, I suppose.
But my favorite thing about writing these days is also the hardest thing:
It’s keeping me ever dependent on my Savior.
You see, some bloggers work from a schedule, writing their posts two or three weeks in advance or more. I’m sure there’s a safety that comes with being so well-prepared. In some ways I long for that comfort.
I even tried it once. I tried to get ahead of the game, instead of waiting until the last minute before my post is due. It didn’t work for me.
I didn’t have anything to write about. I had no words. No thoughts even. Writer’s block to the nth degree.
It was irritating at first, but now, I’m seeing that this is an area in which God is teaching me (yet again) to rely on Him. Instead of on me.
If I had a lovely schedule of posts all planned out for the next month, I might become sort of self-satisfied. Smug even. (Who am I kidding, there’s no “might” or “sort of” about it.)
Did you know that weavers from the Hopi and Navajo tribes intentionally weave a single flaw into their creations? (Oh, the things you learn from a first grade reading textbook.) It has been said that they believe God alone makes perfect things, and this tradition is their concrete way of reminding themselves of this truth.
And how unlike me…and most of us, I suspect.
We don’t like the weaknesses, do we? Our flaws make us cringe.
I don’t weave, but I’ve spent hundreds of hours practicing my flute in an attempt to eliminate flaws. I’m certainly much more likely to become exhilarated over the rare flawless performance than I am to exult in the frequent mistakes I make.
But to make the mistakes intentionally? Just to remind myself that I’m not perfect?
I think I’d rather not be reminded.
It has occurred to me that we often build our own little towers of Babel, exerting our best efforts to become perfectly flawless and independent in this way or that, forcing God to continually thwart our plans and our pursuits. Because it’s in our best interest to be reminded of the truth of the matter:
ONLY HE IS PERFECT.
And if I would humble myself intentionally from time to time, embracing the trials that remind me of His sovereignty and perfection, and basking in the unexpected freedom I find in submission to Him,
maybe God wouldn’t have to humble me quite so often.
What is it in your life that keeps you reliant upon God? What is that thing that reminds you that you aren’t perfect, and that you are utterly dependent on the single Perfect One? Parenthood? A strained relationship? Homeschooling? Your job? Perhaps it’s a trial, for God often uses trials and hardships in our lives to reorient our dependency upon Him.
Whatever that hard thing is for you…
you know, the thing that keeps you on your knees and at your wits’ end…
instead of seeing it as a thorn in your side (2 Corinthians 12:7), a painful circumstance to strive against, try receiving it as a gift of grace.
Because without it, you just might get the crazy idea that you’re doing okay on your own, and that you don’t need your God so much.
Psssst…one more thing. If you’re reading this post and it doesn’t ring true in your life because you don’t have anything that is keeping you dependent on your Creator…
if life is carefree and pretty easy right now…
I urge you to consider whether you’re living for Him as fully as He’d like you to.
Has He asked you to do a hard thing, yet you’re avoiding it? Are you too self-centered, unaware of the needs of those around you and uninvolved in the work God is doing in the world?
Because one thing I’m learning about our God is that He doesn’t do comfortable. And I don’t think He wants His children to, either.
Written by Jennifer Clarke
Tiffany Clark says
Meditating on Peter’s denial of Christ always reminds me of how quickly I will fail if I don’t remain dependent on God at all times. Jesus kept reminding him to watch and pray, because He knew Peter would fail the test miserably if he tried to go it on his own. That’s why we use roosters for weather vanes: to remind us how quickly we can turn!
Jennifer Clarke says
We are so “prone to wander,” aren’t we? I frequently find my mind drifting to Peter, as well. His heartfelt remorse following his fall, and the way he fulfilled Jesus’ words and strengthened his brothers from that point on, offer hope for my own wandering heart. (P.S. Is that true about weathervanes?! If it’s not, it sure could be! 🙂 )
Beautiful Never Stop Writing for His glory and honor
Jennifer Clarke says
Bless you for your kind words! They have encouraged my heart tremendously.
Excellent post, Jennifer! This healthy living focus is keeping me depending on God for sure right now. In fact, I sense Him calling me to deeper dependence as He asks for even more obedience. And I feel the same way about blogging lately. I have literally asked Him for words because although I have ideas about what to write on my own, none of it seems just right for now. So, I wait on Him.
Jennifer Clarke says
Thank you for hearing my heart in this post, Jen, and for sharing from your own experience. God is so good to keep us dependent on Him. He knows how weak and incapable we are on our own – our highest potential can only be reached as we thrust ourselves fully on His grace.