Unpacking the Consequences of Anger

I’ll never forget the moment when I realized I was an angry person – and more specifically, an angry mom.

My mind’s eye can still envision my four-year-old daughter standing at the threshold of my bedroom door, daring to wake me up at 7:30 a.m. so I could prepare her breakfast.

I don’t remember what I said. But I remember that it was loud and ugly.

I also recall that God graciously spoke to me in that very moment, impressing on my heart the hard reality of my anger, and the consequences it would surely bring.

Oftentimes, taking a long, hard look at consequences is the first step toward lasting change.

Do you struggle with anger? Consider with me these consequences of anger:

10 Consequences of Anger

1.)Shallow relationships. Whether it’s your kids or your husband, your parents or your friends, your coworkers or your ministry partners, no one wants to get too close to an angry person. It’s much easier to stick with pretense and surface-level engagement.

2.)Distrust. Don’t expect to be anyone’s confidant. Since revealing too much means risking your wrath, you’ll be the last one they turn to with their joys, their sorrows, and their secrets.

3.)Conflict. An angry person tends to set the tone for the relationship, creating an environment of hostility and discord. (Proverbs 15:1,15:18)

4.)Poor health. Research is clear that anger takes a tremendous toll on your health, impacting your heart, your blood pressure, and your blood chemistry, among other things.

5.)You prove yourself to be a fool. The number of Scriptures that correlate anger with foolishness is astounding! No one wants to be labeled a fool, yet the Bible plainly teaches that an angry person is a foolish one. (Proverbs 29:11, Proverbs 19:11, Ecclesiastes 7:9)

6.)You disobey God. God makes it clear that anger is part of the sinful, fleshly nature that Christians must forsake. (James 1:19-20, Colossians 3:8)

7.)You subject yourself to God’s judgment. “But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment” (Matthew 5:22).

8.)You can’t follow God’s example. We have a heavenly Father who is “gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love” (Psalm 145:8). Angry people can’t emulate God.

9.)You position yourself to be resisted by God. When we get to the bottom of anger, we typically find the sin of pride. We find a heart that is selfish, wanting its own way, and throwing a fit when other people don’t cooperate. Since God resists the proud (James 4:6), a chronically angry person can expect God to resist her.

10.)You deeply wound those you care about. Though the other nine reasons are compelling, this is the one that got my attention on that long-ago morning with my firstborn.

It’s almost as though God allowed me to hear myself through her little ears, and I’m ashamed to say that my tone conveyed loud and clear: “You are nothing but an inconvenience to me.”

It wasn’t her fault that I had been awake with her baby brother most of the night.

It wasn’t her fault that I’m not a morning person even on the very best morning after the very best night of sleep.

It wasn’t her fault that she was just a little girl who needed her mama to take care of her.

Looking back, I can see that this day was a turning point for me.

I praise God for that. He has brought me a long way toward overcoming anger.

And He’s not finished yet.