My husband and I are affectionate with one another, much to the chagrin of our children.
(And any other innocent bystanders who happen to be nearby. Ahem.)
“Awww, man! Can you guys please stop that?” is one of the milder responses we get from our kids.
It’s more common to have them run toward us, hurtling themselves at our bodies in an attempt to a.)drive us apart or b.)tackle us to the ground.
I don’t know that they’ve ever been successful at either venture, so their repeated attempts probably ought to make me question their sanity.
Actually, I suppose that’s proof of how awkward it is for them.
They know Mom and Dad like to kiss, and they have varying degrees of awareness about other “gross stuff” that sometimes accompanies the kissing.
Yep, there’s just an inherent awkwardness that tends to hover between parents and kids when it comes to sex.
(Says the woman who’s hoping like crazy that her own parents skip this blog post.)
It’s an awkwardness that makes both parties hesitant to talk about it.
Kids hesitate to ask questions.
Parents hesitate to offer information.
And it’s easy to stay stuck at this impasse of…
well, awkwardness.
But I’d like to suggest to you that it’s imperative for Christ-following parents to forge past the discomfort and initiate conversations with our kids about sex.
In this “information age” of technology at the fingertips of our two-year-olds, combined with an increasingly amoral culture, it’s never been more important for parents to be proactive about making sure our children know what God says about sex.
Our culture is chomping at the bit for the opportunity to fill our kids’ brains with worldly ideas about sex.
But the truth is, no human being, no institution, and no organization has your kids’ best interests at heart the way you do. And you can’t afford to risk your kids finding out about sex from their friends or from the internet or from the magazine lying haphazardly in the waiting room.
Sex is God-given and God-ordained, after all. And there’s no one better than Christ-following parents to help our children develop a healthy and godly attitude toward sexuality.
So what does God say, after all?
What God Says About Sex
1.)Sex is good.
And God saw everything that He had made, and behold, it was very good (Genesis 1:31).
2.)Sex is a bonding agent.
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh (Genesis 2:24).
3.)Sex is delightful.
Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love (Proverbs 5:18-19).
4.)Sex comes with boundaries.
For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God (I Thessalonians 4:3-5).
Starting Hard Conversations
It’s likely that the four points above aren’t a surprise to you. But knowing the information yourself is a far cry from being able to convey it to your kids.
So how do Christ-following parents get started in this epically important and equally formidable task?
I was so pleased to recently discover that someone has finally begun to write a set of instruction manuals for parents just like you and me – Christian parents who take seriously God’s command to teach God’s ways to our children with diligence and genuineness (Deuteronomy 6:4-9).
Hooray for Instruction Manuals!
This book is called Changes, and it includes seven lessons from God’s Word on the subject of puberty. Changes is biologically thorough and spiritually sound, providing everything you need to help your kids establish a framework for healthy sexuality and sexual purity.
(And all the Moms and Dads say, “Amen!”)
Written in a conversational style and a devotional format, Changes includes all the biological information your kids need to know about puberty, a Scripture reading each day that’s relevant to puberty and your child’s feelings towards it, questions that will enhance your conversation and open doors for conversations to come, and a time of prayer.
You can learn more about Changes here:
Here’s where good news gets even better. Because Changes is a follow-up to The Talk, the first book in the series. The Talk is a book which offers seven lessons introducing your child to biblical sexuality. You can buy both books at a discounted price here:
This Christian Mom’s Prayer
How good our God is, that His power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him and His Word (2 Peter 1:3).
Yes, this “everything” includes sexuality, and this guide will help you and your child delve into what God’s Word has to say about it.
And I don’t know about you, but I happen to think there’s no better perspective than God’s when it comes to healthy sexuality and sexual purity.
Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for the blessing of marriage and the gift of sexuality. Your Word teaches us that as Creator and Sustainer of everything, You have preeminence in all things (Colossians 1:18). And while it goes completely against the way our culture views sex, I acknowledge to You that sex is included in the “all things” You have preeminence in. I long for my children to develop a view of sexuality that has You at the center, and I pray that You would equip me and enable me to guide them towards that end. Please protect the hearts and minds of my children from what is evil, and grant them hearts that are sensitive to Your Spirit and Your Word. It’s in the name of my Savior, Jesus Christ, that I pray. Amen.
Take the Challenge!
Are you a Christian who longs for spiritual victory and wants to grow in holiness? I want to come alongside you and support you in your quest for purity. That’s why I created a FREE 21-day email challenge called Praying the Scriptures for Purity. You can get more information and sign up here.
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I like the 4 points, especially as it is said that sex is good but comes with boundaries and not a taboo or ‘thing’ you do with everyone. I wish I had heard that when I was growing up. My choices may have been different.