Why Do I Feel Like I Miss You?

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Honest post reveals the importance of prioritizing your marriage. This open letter to the writer's husband asks, "Why do I feel like I miss you?"

I see your face every day, almost without fail. And I’m glad, because I really love your face.

Laughing at some random (and possibly inappropriate) joke I make for your ears only.

Concentrating over the tabs of a wayward diaper.

Intent on the bath-giving of little people.

Worshipping with eyes closed in the church choir.

Fatigued at the end of a long day at work.

Earnest at the sink full of dishes.

No human is unfailingly constant in the life of another. But you’re the closest thing I’ve got.

Especially in the last year, you and I have weathered storms together with our God at the helm, and we have come out stronger than ever.

So why do I feel like I miss you?

I didn’t feel this way last week.

Somehow between the socializing and the serving and the working and the taking care of everyone else, you and I just aren’t as…together as usual.

We’re not fighting.

But we’re more like roommates instead of best friends. More like co-laborers instead of lovers. Like the teeniest, tiniest cracks are forming at the joint where two became one almost fourteen years ago.

And two becoming one means there shouldn’t be any cracks.Honest post reveals the importance of prioritizing your marriage. This open letter to the writer's husband asks, "Why do I feel like I miss you?"

But the cracks can happen quickly. And if we let pride or hurt feelings or busy-ness even in good things keep us from sealing up the cracks, they might just become gaps.

Because gaps happen quickly, too.

And the thing about gaps is that if they’re left to themselves they get big enough for another woman or another man to squeeze in, and you and I aren’t above that.

But for God’s grace, we could be in that place.

And that, too, can happen quickly.

Not only that, but there are also several little people who might just fall into the gaps between us. And by the time they make their way out again, they will be very different people.

So tonight after little people are in bed and distractions are our choices rather than our responsibilities, I’m going to turn off my laptop and turn off the TV and stop folding laundry and put down my grocery list and I’m going to look into your face and listen to you.

I’m going to take action and apply the glue to seal up the cracks right now, while it’s only been a few days instead of a few weeks or months or years.

And I’m going to hold you and kiss you like I mean it and tell you I’ve been missing you.

While I still remember what closeness feels like. What one-ness feels like. What us feels like.

Are you missing me, too? Because this could all be in my head. It’s entirely possible that the distance I’m sensing could be overactive hormones or my imagination getting the best of me.

But I’m not going to listen to that voice that says it’s really not necessary or that things will be fine or that I have too much to do.

Because you know what? A little extra glue never hurts a marriage.

And after all, there’s no one else I’d rather be “stuck” with.



Whether your marriage is struggling or stable, it can always be strengthened. Learn how to honor the Lord in your role as a wife through this study. (P.S. Use code JC10 for a 10% discount.)

Becoming a Better Wife

Another resource you’ll love:

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More posts offering encouragement in your marriage:

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11 Replies to “Why Do I Feel Like I Miss You?”

  1. Terrie Futrell

    Such good thoughts here that ALL of us as married couples need to read, remember, and act upon! So easy to get too busy and neglect a primary aspect of our lives….even busy with the “good things.” This article needs to be in some “marriage counseling” marterial!!! Thank you for your honesty in sharing this.

  2. Bradley Paul

    WOW! God Bless you for writing from your heart!

    Yes every married couple needs to read this. I have been married for 27 years and this post really made me think.

    Keep us the great work for the Kingdom!

    Bradley Paul

    • Jennifer Clarke Post author

      I’m glad this post was a blessing to you, Bradley. Though it’s important for couples to realize that feelings of distance are common, it’s equally important to understand the importance of taking action to renew our oneness as husband and wife. What a blessing that oneness is! Thanks for reading, friend.

  3. Sandy

    Its so refreshing to read truth spoken from the heart like this. Thank God, and thank you, that you’re here writing like this for others to read, and to be encouraged by it. God bless you. xo

    • Jennifer Clarke Post author

      I’m deeply grateful for your kindness, Sandy. Transparency isn’t always easy, but it’s a critical aspect our fellowship with other Christ-followers. Being open with our struggles provides the opportunity give and receive encouragement. Unfortunately, our pride too often keeps us from enjoying those blessings. Thank you for reading, and for taking the time to get in touch!

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  5. Grace Houle

    I agree, sometimes it can feel in marriage we are more like colaborers than lovers. Busyness, tiredness, whatever the reasons are. Just like anything in life that matters it has to be an intentional choice to make it a priority. Our marriage, our relationship with God, friendships. Thanks for the encouragement and the reminder to make marriage a priority with our time.

    • Jennifer Clarke Post author

      Thank you for stopping by, Grace! I’m glad this post resonated with you. I come back to it from time to time myself, needing the reminder that there is no other earthly relationship that’s more important than my marriage.

  6. Jen

    Simply beautiful, Jennifer! I appreciate how you so gently call us out and encourage us to do right. 🙂 “A little extra glue never hurts a marriage” – love that line!
    Jen 🙂


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