Until a few years ago, I had not experienced much suffering in my life. I didn’t have to look for blessings in disguise; my blessings paraded themselves rather boldly.
I remember feeling on many occasions like I was living a “charmed” life. Inexplicably, I was spared any major trials at all. And I was lavished with numerous blessings.
It felt unfair. I saw people all around me experiencing trials; many of those people were walking through multiple fires at one time. But I was completely untouched. I didn’t know why.
It also felt scary. I knew everyone experienced trials. The Bible says that in this world His followers will have tribulation. Where was mine?
What was it going to look like?
How would I handle it?
How painful would it be, exactly?
I knew my turn was coming. I just didn’t know when. And I kind of felt like I deserved an extra dose or two because of my previously unscathed life. When that proverbial “other shoe dropped,” I was certain it would appear in the form of a huge steel-toed workboot…or maybe a 5-inch stiletto heel.
But ever since 2013…
I know.
After our family experienced a cancer diagnosis and unemployment…
I know.
I don’t claim to know all of suffering, but I now know it in part. In many ways, it was the hardest year of my life.
On the other hand, I can tell you with all truth and sincerity it was also one of the most joyful years of my life. Because of many blessings in disguise.
The Supreme Blessing in Every Trial
By far, the best of these blessings was the joy of God’s presence. God is always with me; I’ve never doubted that. But during my season of trials, I felt it more keenly and exulted in it more joyously than ever before.
I think this is partly because through suffering, God revealed idols I had been embracing. Good gifts I was adoring, instead of worshipping the Giver. Things like health, status, income, and friendships.
Things I didn’t mean to grow attached to; it just…happened. And when those things went away, God revealed to me just how dependent on them I had become.
Things I had clung to, hoping and praying that when those inevitable trials came, I would be allowed to keep clutching them.
But God loves me more than that.
He loves me more than to allow me to continue clinging desperately to gifts, growing more and more attached to them, when I can embrace the Giver Himself.
He loves me more than to allow me to cling to substitutes for Him.
He wants me to have the real thing. He died so I could have the real thing.
And so, He pried my grasping fingers from the substitutes, and then held my hand in His own. And when I began to realize just how idolatrous my heart had become, and allowed His conviction to bring about repentance…well, that changed everything.
Because then He turned my unfaithful heart back to Himself. And I began to encounter Him once again. Which is what I needed all along, with or without the trials.
So what now?
Following an intense season of trials and such vivid reminders of God’s love, I’m left with overwhelming joy and gratitude that my God loves me so much that He won’t allow anything in the way of our love relationship.
I am thankful for the trials I faced that year, and for the ones I’ve faced since. As I’ve grown to know Him more and love Him better, I can tell you with certainty that it has been beyond worth it.
“Indeed, I count everything as loss
because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.
For His sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish,
in order that I may gain Christ and be found in Him…”
Philippians 3:8
~~
Want to know more about our family’s experience with times of trial? Here are more popular related posts:
How Delivered Me From All My Fears
How have you experienced Christ’s presence in the midst of a trial? I would love for you to take a moment and encourage me and other readers by leaving your testimony below.
I cannot attest to this fact any more than I do right now. I am going through an extremely tumultuous time at the moment, but I would not trade it for anything. The closeness and faith that I feel towards my Savior Jesus is more intense than ever. My heart is desiring a blessing from Him, and even if I do not receive it, it’s really all worth it because I feel so close to Him.
My heart feels the blessing coming, and I am so grateful. If anyone has ever felt this way, please say so! I had to share…Blessings to all!!!
What a blessing to hear this testimony of God’s grace to you during this time of trial, Gilana! Thank you for sharing of God’s particularly close presence in your life right now. Have you heard the song “Never Once” by Matt Redman? I think you will find it to be a tremendous blessing. I can’t listen to it without tears of gratitude and joy for my Savior’s faithfulness. Thank you for reading, and for sharing from your heart.
Thank you Lord for EVERYTHING! But most of all, my wonderful credlhin who never make me feel bad for who I am and how I look. Thank you Lord for my job, that doesn’t discriminate fat people, but instead looks at how hard we work, even though we’re big. Thank you Lord for everything materialistic you give me, everything I need, and little by little, thank you Lord for sending me everything I want! Thank you Lord for Chanda, she’s amazing and inspiring. Continue providing your love and wisdom and many more blessings on her journey, thus inspiring the rest of us! Love you Lord!! Love you Chanda don’t know you personally, but on here, I feel like I’ve made a great friend!! <3
Amen, Alice! I’m praising Him with you for His kindness. 🙂
For the past ten–almost eleven–years, my family has been going through health challenges. It turns out that my sister and I had had an allergic reaction to something in the chicken pox vaccines we got as babies. I developed pettimal seizures and later my sister developed grandmals. My sister’s seizures stopped on 7/7/07. Then, this past year, they came back, along with some pettimals of her own. My sister, who will turn 11 on 11/05 has had to go through watching these and growing up too fast, watching out for us.
However, through this our family has grown closer and stronger in our faith, we have learned that kids aren’t always mean to “different kids”. We have also learned to be thankful for what we have. Much of our life has felt like the song “Freefall” by Royal Tailor. (If you haven’t heard it, I encourage you to look it up. It’s good.)
Thank you for sharing part of your story here, Lauryn, and especially for the way you exemplify one who is looking for blessings in disguise. I will take some time before sleep tonight to pray for you and your family – for God’s continued sustenance in your lives, for His healing, and for Him to keep on proving to you that His grace is always, always enough.
It’s funny that I found this post almost three years after you shared it…but as we know God’s timing is PERFECT! You seemed to be describing my life in so many ways….I have been blessed by your sharing! I needed this to truly see myself. I had never thought of my “charmed life” as an idol!! I too had experienced no major trials and felt a bit confused by it…did God really love me? I had become stagnant in my growth, my prayer life and bible study was sporadic, we weren’t attending church regularly or at all….but then came that TRIAL…a prodigal child. Through my heartbreak God has shown me His love, He has drawn me and my family back to Him. I am in church again, in a home group, I’ve found places to serve and I am finding joy in my trials. I do not know if I will ever see, speak or have a relationship with my prodigal child again (I pray that I will), but I know that I have a God who is bigger than my trials and He will sustain me. I see my other children in their times of trial and can tell them to TAKE IT TO GOD and TRUST HIM! Your words made clear to me emotions that I have been feeling and not understanding and shown me that my heart, too was idolatrous. I had forgotten the words “vain things that charmed me most” from a favorite old hymn that help me stay on track!! Thank you so much for sharing!! I will pray for you, your family and your ministry! GOD is indeed GOOD!!!
What a beautiful testimony, Darla! Your words have been a tremendous encouragement to me today. I’m so glad this post resonated with you and has blessed you. I will pray for you and for your prodigal child – I’ve seen many, many of these loved ones return to the Lord and return to their families after a season of wandering, so take heart! God is working, whether or not you can see it at any given moment. Thank you so much for taking the time to share here! Blessings!
I recently received a rare diagnosis that basically means I am at higher risks for a stroke. I am for the most part a healthy individual but I received this diagnosis. What I am learning daily is to trust Him, trust his plan, and worship continuously throughout this process.
Amen, Tona. Thank you for sharing a bit of your testimony here. May God bless you and keep you.
My life has had plenty of hardships, and God has used each and every one to draw me closer to Him. Whether they pushed me into His Word, or He gave me a peace and strength I could never have imagined, God has always been there. So thankful for Him.
Amen, Heather! Thanks for sharing your testimony of God’s faithfulness.
I have a daughter, she is 54. In her late 2o”s she was diagnosed, mentally ill. Since she was 12 years old she has been difficult. I have been struggling with this for over 40 years. I am a follower of Jesus, so I have been on the road to sanctification, trusting Him and our loving Father for everything. In my mind and heart, I ask where will my daughter be in eternity? I wake up everyday in sadness, and each day, I bring my self to the foot of the cross, and walk humbly with my God. where in the WORD can I find comfort. I have searched the bible for year, reading it thru and yet I’m not sure of her salvation.
Hello, Evelyn, and welcome! Thank you for taking the time to share your heart with me. I’m sorry to hear about your daughter’s mental illness; I can only imagine how difficult that has been for you to endure. You closed with this statement: “I’m not sure of her salvation.” I want to come alongside you, give you a hug, and whisper in your ear that you are not alone. Every God-loving and God-fearing parent wants their children to be saved, longs for it, prays for it with tears. But
none
of us have that guarantee. In fact, Jesus said that there are many people in the world who are themselves deceived about their salvation (Matthew 7:22-23); if it’s possible for people to be deceived about the state of our own hearts before the Lord, it stands to reason that we certainly can’t have assurance about the salvation of another person.
But I don’t want you to despair, and here’s why: you have a beautiful testimony of faith. Your own words state that you have been “trusting Him and our loving Father for everything.” I rejoice in such faith, for our God is faithful. He is good. He is merciful, and He is kind. You have entrusted your own eternity to Him, and I want to urge you to do the same with your daughter’s eternity, as well. He loves her even more than you do, and He works to accomplish His purposes in ways that we cannot see or understand. I know you pray for your daughter, because I can tell that’s the kind of woman you are. Keep praying for her, and then trust God with her, choosing each day not to worry about her anymore.
In closing, you might find this post about peace to be an encouragement. May God’s sufficient grace enable you to have victory and find peace.
‘Healed from schizophrenia by Jesus Too’ youtube channel 🙂
the other way of looking at it is what happened to a lady who comented on a remedy drive video, daylight. apparently her son committed suicide. i would love for you to talk to my own father. he has endured so much during my life. but he always seems to be upbeat and positive.he doesn’t even acknowledge jesus. But i love him to death. he’s such a great dad, and he’
s been with me through everything i endured as a diabled sufferer of mental illness. maybe its like th bible quote about the gentiles, although not having the law, obeyed it anyway, because the law was written on their hearts. i have had 3 friends commit suicide, as well as three other people who died. two of brain hemorhage, and one of a heroin over dose. another friend died of lung cancer. all were 40 or under. from 19 years old and up to 40.
i am so blessed. i look back on my life of suffering, and yes, it hurts. but remember what i was like as a person before i became ill. i was completely unmanageable. i could not relate. i knew so little about people.and i was so foolish. yes i have been through a lot. and not just the mental illness. its funny, because the bible puts down a father (or parent) as the number one decider for our survival. if you read the final verse of the old testament, after going through the reasons for charity, tithing, god states quite clearly that he has turned the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to the fathers. ie. family. prob the thing which was due to break me through all my suffering was missing my two kids. that is all. when they finally caught up with me after 17 years, i sang for joy. lol. you are this girls mother. don’t forget it.there is hope. always. 🙂
hey i am so blessed you ask to hear my story also. 🙂
i am scott, from australia. i suffered from 4 strains of mental illness since birth, as well as an intellectual disability which was the most embarrassing of all since i didn’t know i had it until god told me and healed me. i was also healed of all the 4 mental illnesses as well. i am gifted by god with a mathematics mind. im good at cyber security etc and have kinda helped our au gov a bit, unsolicited advice from me to our national security hotline.
i am 49 years old, am divorced, although god seems to be patching things up with her atm, since i kinda make more sense now.
im finding new comfort in my frienships and learning how to relate in whole new ways. but i do feel close to god and full of extreme joy and sorrow also, all the time. i can and do still get bloated with pride and become worthless/miserable lol but generally following the bible and god helps always 🙂
Hello, Scott, and thank you for sharing your story here. May God grant you a greater knowledge of Him and love for Him, resulting in faithful service to Him.
I have MS and another auto immune called Sarcoidosis. The MS caused a condition called adult onset scoliosis – severe. I am the bent woman of the Bible in other words — a true hunch back — bent at the waist. Jesus has given me the strength to keep walking, keep working, keep leading a Bible Study, a scrapbooking class and a jewelry making class. Jesus gives me a smile on my face every single day and a song in my heart. He is my strength! He has blessed me with a wonderful husband and together we are blessed with 5 grown children, 14 grandchildren and 6 great grandchildren. I praise Jesus every day. Oh how blessed I am .
When I was first diagnosed with MS and then the Sarc, I was scared. Especially as my back started collapsing. I wondered if I’d be able to keep working………I was in terrible pain – I still have pain. At first I said, why did this happen to me. I’m healthy. Especially since it hit so fast. 1 day I was healthy — the next I couldn’t see out of my left eye and ended on in neurology with optic neuritis. The next thing I knew I was getting an MRI and a few tests later it was confirmed MS and I’m giving myself shots of Beta Seron every other day for 8 years. I was so sick I didn’t know what to do. I just prayed and did what my Grandma did. Got up, asked God to help me put one foot in front of the other and I got though. Oh Jesus, I could not have done anything without You! I mean that. Without Jesus I would not have gotten through the first few months. He was so close to me, He pulled me along through everything.
I still have hard days and I still depend on Jesus all the time. It’s not easy being a hunch back in a straight back world. Some days I use my wheel chair and I have to use a walker to go more than 10’. It’s too exhausting. I’m so grateful Jesus healed the bent woman in the Bible. Her life must have been just awful. No walkers in those days. Maybe a stick to lean on. Oh my.
I’m glad I found your site, glad I found your beautiful prayers, glad you have started sending me your lovely emails. God is good. He brought me to a great place.
Amen, amen, Nancy! What a beautiful testimony of God’s faithfulness and goodness in your life. I’m currently studying the book of Job in preparation for a ladies’ Bible study at church, and your joy in God’s presence reminds me of Job’s patience and long-suffering. Thank you for being such a vivid example of the sufficiency of God’s grace and the sweetness of His presence. May God bless you richly and allow your light to shine brightly for His glory.